It’s the most Goop-iful time of the year.
Ahead of the holiday season, Gwyneth Paltrow and co. have dropped their annual array of gift guides, notorious for pushing wildly over-the-top present picks like five-figure sex chairs and $75 sacks of free-range manure.
And this year’s roundup is as “ridiculous but awesome” as ever, with standouts ranging from a $15,000 vibrator crafted from 24-karat gold to a Louis Vuitton baby wardrobe worth a staggering $73,000 (not including the actual clothes).
The guides span 10 categories — including gifts for lovers, kids, men, hosts and more — and for those not champing at the bit to drop $3,475 on an Hermès rocking horse, there’s even an under-$100 guide featuring items like organic thongs and black truffle popcorn.
Below, browse the most outlandish offerings from Goop’s festive assortment of fancier-than-ever gifts.
Lelo Inez 24k Gold G-Spot Vibrator
Gives “Midas touch” a whole new meaning.
Made In Champagne Saber
Because popping bottles is so passé.
Louis Vuitton Baby Wardrobe
Clothing and shoes sold separately.
Regalis Parmigiano Reggiano DOP, Aged 24 Months
This cheese will cost you a lot of cheddar.
Olympia Le-Tan Eiffel Tower Book Clutch
For that price, you might as well just book a round-trip flight to Paris.
Hermès Cavaletti Doghouse
For the truly pampered pooch.
Chez Pluie Antique Escargot Picks
Snailed it.
Walden Planar Studio Gong and Stand
10/10 would bang.
Chanel Roller Skates
Wheel-y expensive.
Paradise Row Leather Tennis Ball Holder
Why keep your tennis balls in their original can when you can spend an extra $350 on this?